Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure: The 10 Most Excellent Quotes, Ranked


Little did the world know that two high school friends in San Dimas, California would not only become excellent guitar players but also travel through time, meeting some of the most prominent people from history. Additionally, these most excellent gentlemen would create an incendiary rock band called Wyld Stallyns and, procure their own unique phrases, and visit God and Satan on other planes, while playing board games with death, evoking some excellent callbacks to The Seventh Seal.

With robot versions of themselves and an alien genius by their side, Bill & Ted has made a permanent imprint on the universe with their Excellent Adventure and Bogus Journey. With the reunion tour coming up of Bill & Ted Face The Music, their catch-phrases are still iconic as they were in 1989. Here are the 10 best quotes from the original Bill & Ted movie.

10 “It Seems To Me The Only Thing You’ve Learned Is That Caesar Is A Salad Dressing Dude.”

Bill and Ted’s history teacher, Mr. Ryan, is almost forced to fail the two friends for their lack of schoolwork in his class. This is especially justified when it’s revealed that they haven’t really learned anything thanks to their knowledge on Julius Caesar being so bad and lacking that it would make George Clooney from Hail, Caesar laugh out loud.

This piece of dialogue shows not just their foolishness, but their quick wit and charm to think on their feet, which leads them to travel through history and time.

9 “Strange Things Are Afoot At The Circle K.”

Back in the ’80s and early ’90s, the convenience store chain Circle K was bigger than 7-11 and is where Bill & Ted hung out, drinking sodas, eating snacks, and studying for their history exam.

It would later be the historic site where Bill and Ted first laid on eyes on the time-traveling phone booth and meet the fantastic Rufus (Jersey Girl’s George Carlin). When nothing ever action-packed happens at the Circle K, Bill and Ted uttered these famous words when they saw the world flash in front of their eyes.

8 “69, Dudes!”

To reiterate their powerful friendship and trust Rufus and the situation around them, Bill and Ted ask their future selves to guess the number they’re thinking of, to which all four men shout out in unison the same number which has all sorts of sexual connotations.

It’s a wonderfully funny moment that exudes the childlike humor in these young adults as they navigate time travel.

7 “All We Are Is Dust In The Wind, Dude.”

Leave it to Bill & Ted to philosophize with one of history’s greatest philosophers – Socrates, and with a rock n roll song no less.

As Bill and Ted are knee-deep into their time-traveling history lesson, the two end up in Ancient Greece and bring along Socrates, but not before teaching him a valuable and moral lesson from the dialogue above, which is from a hit Kansas album titled Point of Know Return. This impresses Socrates and is glad to tag along on their adventure.

6 “Okay, Wait, If We Were One Of Europe’s Greatest Leaders, And We Were Stranded In San Dimas For One Day, Where Would We Go?”

Napoleon Bonaparte would have gone to Waterloo Water Park, which is exactly where Bill and Ted finds him having the time of his life, enjoying the water slides, cutting in front of little kids to be first in line, and just being happy for once.

Napoleon wasn’t exactly known for being the jolliest of men and to see him be as gleeful as a kid in a candy store was something special, which Stanley Kubrick would have implemented in his film on Napoleon if he ever got to make it.

5 “Ted, You And I Have Witnessed Many Things, But Nothing As Bodacious As What Just Happened. Besides, We Told Ourselves To Listen To This Guy.”

Many time-travel films tackle a multitude of space and time theories, from the elements in Looper to the changing future outcomes in Back To The Future. Bill and Ted added a few more questions to the equation as well in their own unique way, including the ability to think and say a word like “trashcan,” which then a trashcan appears and allows the two to escape jail.

It boggles the mind, but when Bill relays the above line to his friend, it’s a masterfully funny bit on telling yourself to trust yourself from the person who relayed this information to you in the first place, which is yourself. What an intellectual and critical thinking moment!

4 “Whoa, He Didn’t Even Card Us, Dude.”

Bill and Ted mosey on into an old west Saloon and find Billy The Kid, seen in films like Young Guns. These two high-school students are just happy to be in a bar when the bartender just hands them giant alcoholic drinks.

They are so excited and shocked that the bartender doesn’t card them to see if they’re 21 years old, which is a brilliantly funny piece of dialogue that every teenager has dreamed of. It’s a simple, honest, and hilarious sequence that brings more love to these two characters.

3 “This Is A Dude Who, 700 Years Ago, Totally Ravaged China, And Who, We Were Told, Two Hours Ago, Totally Ravaged Oshman’s Sporting Goods.”

Genghis Khan is more or less responsible for the death of around 40 million people during the 13th century. Of course, Bill and Ted would pick him up for their history report and who was played by the fantastic Al Leong who was featured in Big Trouble In Little China. Not only do they lure Khan into the phone booth with a Twinkie that would make Tallahassee giddy in Zombieland, but they bring Genghis to a shopping mall expecting nothing to go wrong.

The old Khan steps foot inside Oshman’s Sporting Goods, wears football pads, a helmet, and replaces his club with a metal baseball bat as he rides a skateboard, flips, and destroys all the mannequins in the store as they were his worst enemy. It’s a brilliant piece of dialogue and rings true.

2 “We’d Like you To Meet Some Of Our Friends. Yeah, This Is Dave Beeth-Oven, Maxine Of Arc, Missy. Herman The Kid, Bob “Genghis” Khan, So-cratz Johnson, Dennis Frood, and uh, Abraham Lincoln.”

When Bill and Ted show up back at home, Bill’s step-mother sees everything where they try and pass off the time-traveling phone booth as something logical and introduce their normal friends with normal present-day names.

The result is uproariously funny as this little island of misfit historical figures is given chores to clean the house and take out the trash before the big history report.

1 “Be Excellent To Each Other And Party On, Dudes.”

It’s a straightforward and unsophisticated statement that is important, significant, and the message of the whole film. Not only that, but this particular quote also rings true in real-life and is a great lesson for anyone of any age.

Bill & Ted exuded this piece of dialogue as did the actors who played them – Keanu Reeves (John Wick) and Alex Winter (The Lost Boys).

NEXT: Bohemian Rhapsody: 10 Best Quotes From The Movie


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About The Author

Former husky model, real-life Comic Book Guy, genre-bending screenwriter, nude filmmaker, hairy podcaster, pro-wrestling idiot-savant, who has a penchant for solving Rubik’s Cubes and rolling candy cigarettes on unreleased bootlegs of Frank Zappa records.

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